My
Vulnerable
Story

Who am I? How do you summarize who you are in the most genuine truthful way in a few paragraphs? So I’ve decided the best way to be authentic about this share is to write it and share it unedited, first draft. :) I believe having the courage to be vulnerable is the road to our most powerful best self and life. So here I go...

 

My name is Neda Kerdar and I  am a Registered Therapeutic Counsellor with the Association of Counselling Therapists of Canada and a Certified Life Coach.

 

Like many I struggled with finding my true passion and gift for many years.  I have had many career paths from being an agent for the airlines in Ottawa, a talent director in Chicago in the fashion and acting/modelling industry, Business Development for an IT company, to owning my own business in the beauty/spa industry in Chicago.

 

I succeeded in all my jobs…but not necessarily because I was the best ticketing agent, or knew a lot about IT etc. Because I loved to connect with people and really cared about who they were and their stories and struggles, above and beyond it all. I would go to events with CEO’s of major companies and by the time the dinner was served they would be opening up to me about their personal struggles and tearing up at the table to the disbelief of my boss. 

 

I was told many times I had a gift of making everyone I met feel comfortable but because it was just who I was and it came easily to me I never thought of it as a “gift” . I would sit in Uber rides in different cities and by the end of the ride hug the driver that just shared her stories of struggling with cancer and a divorce. Even throughout my own many struggles, moving to another country (from Canada to the US) at a very young age in order to learn independence , struggling with immigration on my own in the US with no family and barely anyone I knew, dealing with immense feelings of guilt for leaving family and anxiety of being in a new country in a huge city (Chicago) on my own, being in a highly toxic narcissistic relationship for almost 10 years to the point I gave up all my own needs and thought I was going crazy(but to whom I'm grateful for as he pushed me to pursue this career to help others), being betrayed by who I thought was a soulmate, and also by someone I considered like family, finally deciding to move back to be near my actual family after 16 years of being apart , moving to Vancouver giving up my corporate job, my friends and the life I had built for 16 years to start all over in a new city where other than family I knew no one and dealing with isolation, not knowing who I was in this city, having gone from constant distraction and busyness of life in Chicago to isolation in Vancouver and the pandemic making it even more lonely, I still would always show up and feel best when I could help others.

 

After years of bottling my own needs and struggles up inside me, paired with having all the time for the first time in my life I started to go inward. I went through a spiritual journey (not by choice at first but as an outcome of immense pain).  I started reading as much as I could and meditating and going to workshops and events to learn more about who I was and what my needs and values were as I had lived my life in "people pleasing" mode to make everyone around me , but me , happy. I had constantly stayed busy to run away from meeting myself and suddenly due to the circumstances of my life and the world I was forced to slow down and meet myself. Thats when I realized what made me actually happy and fulfilled in all my jobs and life wasn’t the titles, the people I knew, the money I made….it was being there for people and making them feel even 1% better about their lives by actually being present and letting them feel safe to share. 

 

But I wanted to do more.

 

I wanted to actually have the skills and tools to really help. So I started by first getting my Coaching degree. With that I was able to now help clients with areas they were stuck in the "now" and with their movement into the future and goals they had. But then I realized I wanted to go deeper. I wanted to be able to help heal past traumas, help with anxieties and depression , help with relationship issues, heartbreak, betrayal, feeling lost and confused and lonely and many other deeper issues. So I continued and got my Counselling degree. And I am finally able to say I found my “gift” or more accurately “passion” in life …meeting people like you who are ready to take active control, in their destiny and heal and grow in their lives to become the best , strongest , happiest version of themselves. I have met people from all walks of life, from struggling single parents, to very successful entrepreneurs, to well known celebrities from the East to the West. And what everyone had in common was their desire for peace and happiness and feeling fulfilled. And no matter who they were those that truly were “successful” were the ones that took the time to get to know themselves and heal and grow through putting in the time for their own inner growth and making that their priority.

 

It took me a long time to understand the importance of “working on myself”, I felt guilty to put time aside for myself like many do , falsely thinking its selfish and that its not important or they’re “too busy”,  but it has been the best gift I have given myself and I can now truly say I am grateful for all the things I considered “struggles” in the past as they helped me grow and be on the path I am on today. I hope you decide to put some time for us to put you first too and discover yourself and your potential in ways you maybe haven’t yet and to get to a point where you can look back at all your struggles and feel proud of having survived and thrived from them.

 

Life is a never ending expansion of your potential, we are all here to help each other.

Neda Kerdar🦋